sábado, 11 de abril de 2015

Testimonial: Why I have become a Discordian

Dear Mome Mariana, the Unique, Queen of the Whole World,

I have already told you that your careless attitude of becoming a Discordian, which, in your own sacred words, was for not taking things seriously, makes you more apt to be a Discordian than me.
My own history is quite different, I had to read the whole of Principia Discordia... before deciding whether I would turn convert to Discordianism and whether it would be my main or secondary religion.
Before I becoming a Discordian priest, I used to take things very seriously, and the last consequences. I had been a dull Roman Catholic for 8 years. I would attend to mass every Sunday, and go to extents of arguing with my peers if one of them disrespected either Christianity in general or Roman Catholicism in particular. I held the Bible as valid just because it was the Bible. I even entertained the thought of becoming a Roman Catholic priest!
However during this whole time I was being unfaithful to myself and the others.
There is a phrase in Latin (I did not learn Latin to become a priest, if that is what you thought now!), which says "Qui bene olet male olet" - "He who uses much perfume, does so because he smells badly". While I showed myself as a devoted Christian, the idea of god as a nonexistent being seemed to me as completely rational. There is a time during childhood that people start to distinguish reality form legend, and I classified most of what the Bible said in the category of legend. First of all, "who would be present at the creation of the world, your world, of which you are the only queen, while it was being created and lately tell the history?" "How would anyone know when Jesus was born if by my mother's time birth certificates where not made at short notice, but years after, and when he was born it was much more time ago?" – I don't know if you care but for the Roman Catholic church, Dec. 25th. is a feast to celebrate Christ's birth, and is not his birthday, as it is never specified in the Bible . –
With this in mind, I was made – as it always with children, who are made do things – attend catechism, where I was confronted with the notion that some things in the Bible, especially in the Second Testament should be understood by it's face value. Some people even believed that everything on the Bible should be correct and important one way or another. This contradicted my childish, albeit precocious, notion of truth and reality, but, since I believed that it was me that was wrong, I tried my best to fit in. Remember, "qui bene olet male olet." While I posed as the most austere Christian, I must have been the one who believe in god the least.
The tale goes even longer, but it would be too much for a single message.
The conclusion is that I need Discordianism because it is a religion that I cannot take too serious, as most of things in life must not be taken as well.

Today is Setting Orange, the 4th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3180
Alexander I dell'A r Appia, IIPJ, Amordi, Oracle to Glycon

quinta-feira, 2 de abril de 2015

Theogony 101

Dear Mome Mariana, the Unique, Queen of the World,

Health upon you!

I'd like to introduce to you some basics on the subject of theogony, which is the the pagan equivalent of monotheists' theology. While the latter discuss the nature and accidents of their only god they have to care about, we are so busy trying to cope with too many gods whose relationships and stories we have remember to seek knowledge about the nature of godness.

First of all, there is the law of parentage: a god must come from another god; this rule is not absolute altogether, or there would be a contradiction about how the first gods would have come into existence. To explain the origin of the first gods, there is the law of negative reversal, by which if something ordinary fails to happen, its opposite, which must be extraordinary, must happen. This is how the first gods came into being, in the void, while there couldn't be something ordinary as a god generate another. This not only explains why the first gods came into being without a generator, but explain why the following gods cannot appear in the same way: something quite ordinary as a god bringing forth another deters the extraordinary happening of a god springing out ex nihilo.

I happened to think about  the origin of the first gods when, in my first barbecue in the house of a Mensan, I was justifying to a smart child that Thor was a god for being the son of another god and he asked me where the first gods came from. At that time I answered that Bor,  Thor's grandfather, was conceived by a cow's liking a bloc of ice. By that time, I thought my answer was lame, albeit accurate. It was not so lame. For soot, a cow licking ice is quite extraordinary, which leads us to the following principle:
Ordinary happenings come after ordinary, rationally explainable, causes, while extraordinary things come after extraordinary causes.

Now I must explain why it's is so rare to presence extraordinary things nowadays—or ever, for when most extraordinary things happened there was almost nobody to see. My first though was so much ordinary things happen that so little are left not to happen. That does not follows (non sequitur), for the amount of things that do not exist surpass stratosphærically the amount of things that exist, therefore the amount of things that does not happen surpass ionosphærically the amount of things that happens. One cannot say that things that not happen are extraordinary, for they are far more usual than things that happen.

We must look for another cause, which is not in extraordinary things not happening but in us failing to see them. Look, seeing things is quite ordinary, whether those things are ordinary or not. Therefore, seeing something is something ordinary that happens, which negates the condition for something extraordinary to happen; therefore, from the failure of something extraordinary to happen, an ordinary thing happen in its place. In conclusion, extraordinary things are uncommon because of the abundance of eyes to see them, while the possibility of someone seeing them prevents theirs happening.

If I ever remember something general about theogony, I will impart to you, but I guess that everything more on that matter is god genealogy.

Your dutiful servant,

--   –><–  Rev. Alexandṛ dell'A r Appia, Amordi, IIPJ, Oracle to Glycon  Today is the 10th day to Alexandṙday, in the 29th yCWC.  Communism is the equal distribution of  poverty.    	-- One of Nadav Har'El's Email Signatures.        -- Nadav Har'El      -- Nadav Har'El's E-mail Signature Quotes